The Definitive List of Chris Evans Movies

0004-still-of-chris-evans

I was having a hard time coming up with a post topic for this week, so I figured I’d post about something very important to me: the filmography of Chris Evans because I spent yesterday afternoon watching Snowpiercer (more below). I’ve spent a LOT of afternoons watching Chris Evans movies, so what better than spending an afternoon writing about Chris Evans movies?

From worst to best:

21. London
This movie is fucking terrible. Don’t waste your time. Jessica Biel is also in it, so seriously don’t waste your time.

20. The Loss of a Tear Drop Diamond
This movie is terrible, but Chris Evans isn’t terrible in it. Plus, he looks like this in it:

Chris-in-The-Loss-of-a-Teardrop-Diamond-chris-evans-11985896-840-550

so it’s not a total loss.

19. Cellular
I don’t know. It’s a movie. I wonder what Chris Evans’ character’s cell bill was after all of that.

18. Fierce People
I’m pretty sure I didn’t like this. All the characters are awful people.

17. Not Another Teen Movie

I have nothing else to add.

16. Push
I like C Evans in broody-hero-who-doesn’t-want-to-be-a-hero type stuff and he’s good opposite Dakota Fanning in this. Overall not the greatest movie, but it doesn’t have Jessica Biel in it, so.

15. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
C Evans looks great wearing tight stuff.

14. Fantastic Four
C Evans looks great wearing tight stuff.

13. The Nanny Diaries
I always forget this movie exists.

12. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
I’ve only seen up to C Evan’s scenes, but from what I’ve seen of it, I liked it enough that I should watch the rest some day.

11. The Losers
I love this movie for this scene alone:

But actually his character, Jensen, is great and I love watching C Evans do some comedic stuff. Plus, this movie has Idris Elba in it too.

10. The Perfect Score
I didn’t know this movie even existed until a couple of months ago when found it online. I like it. I’m surprised it’s never included in 90s/early 2000 teen movie lists because I’d probably watch this as often as She’s All That or Can’t Hardly Wait.

9. Thor: The Dark World
I’m adding this as a technicality, because technically he is in the movie. It’s my favourite scene in the entire film and the whole Chris Evans playing Captain America as Tom Hiddleston playing Loki playing Captain America thing is just everything that makes my heart go on.

8. Iceman
C Evans playing a psychotic killer for hire with an ice cream truck and questionable facial hair? Yes, please. Seriously though, he’s so great in this and everyone should see it.

7. Puncture
This movie, man. Chris is so damn good in this.

6. Sunshine
I’ve had internet fights about this movie. I saw it before C Evans was so high on my Hot Dude Radar and I loved it and his Mace has always been my favourite character. I will fight anyone who says Mace wasn’t right.

5. What’s Your Number?
I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND C EVANS IS SO PERFECT IN THIS MOVIE AND ALSO THIS HAPPENS:

ChrisEvans_Towel
In his own words, “[he’s] naked a lot in this movie.” And it’s beautiful.

4. The Avengers
I REALLY REALLY LOVE STEVE ROGERS. And also this:

.It's a nice butt though.

3. Snowpiercer
If you get a chance to see this movie, see this movie. It is SO good and Chris is great in it. It’s probably one of the best films I’ve seen lately and now that this movie is actually going to be released apparently, I’m going to see it legitimately in the theatres. But seriously, this is a fantastic film and you need to see it. Trust me.

2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Have I mentioned how much I love Steve Rogers? I really, super love Steve Rogers and watching Steve give up rather than kill Bucky is one of the most heart breaking things I’ve ever seen.

1. Captain America: The First Avenger
HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE STEVE ROGERS? Skinny Steve is my most favourite thing ever. And after-serum Steve is pretty amazing too:

cap trailer 8a

But seriously, I don’t know that I’ve ever had so many feels for a fictional character before.

So, there are a few I haven’t seen, but overall I’ll maintain that C Evans is a better actor than most of his resume would have you believe. (Seriously, see Snowpiercer once it’s released.) And now I feel like watching What’s Your Number for the 9th time.

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2 thoughts on “The Definitive List of Chris Evans Movies

  1. I would rank “Teardrop Diamond” lower than “London” for his Southern-By-Way-Of-Boston accent alone. ::shudder:: But I guess the Jessica Biel factor overshadows it?

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